ABOUT TIME YOU REST.
abouttime.rest is a 10-day, one-on-one (max three people) digital detox and soul confrontation in the Romanian mountains for high-functioning, high-achieving, quietly disillusioned people who make hard decisions for a living and are tired of burning out in style. Structured from wake-up to lights-out so you never have to decide what to do next.
In one sentence: ten days offline in the mountains, with one person who sees through your defences, to map whatâs really running your life and change how you live when you go back.
Done watching your life through glass, half-present and half-scrolling?
Done wondering how much longer your soul can keep going on low battery while your calendar stays full?
This is ten days where your phone loses its crown, your role sits on the shelf, and someone steps into your universe with you and asks, without flinching: âIf not this performance, then what are you really here to live?â
Digital detox, without the fairy dust
This is a boutique, fully structured 10-day program in the mountains of Romania. Itâs designed for high-functioning, high-achieving, disillusioned elites whose brains have become Slack channels with legs: people everyone else leans on while they quietly fall apart.
Think: disillusioned effective altruists, second-career founders, PE/VC partners post-exit, media intellectuals at a crossroads, political advisers burned by power proximity, anyone who has tasted power but not wholeness.
You hand in your smartphone. You get a âdumbâ phone for emergencies and logistics. There are no screens. No infinite scroll. No inbox. No Slack. No âjust a quick check.â
What this is not
- Not group therapy. Itâs one person, or at most three, not a circle of strangers.
- Not spiritual cosplay. No robes, no mantras, no âhigh-vibe tribeâ talk.
- Not a productivity camp. Weâre not here to optimise you into a better machine.
- Not a guru show. No one here claims to have âthe method.â We have questions, structure, and presence.
What this is
- A carefully designed interruption to your normal life, in nature, with zero decision fatigue.
- A space where we step into your world, your values, your worries, and live them with you from the inside.
- An honest look at your âimmunity to changeâ (credit to Robert Kegan & Lisa Lahey) and the hidden commitments keeping you stuck.
- Time to feel your life again, not just think about it in bullet points.
Who this is for (and who it isnât)
Youâll probably feel seen if at least a few of these sound familiar:
You think in systems, see through façades, and can hold tension without needing to spiritualise it. You share our unease with the status quo and are not afraid of moral ambiguity; youâre just tired of navigating it alone.
- You have people, capital, or narratives depending on you, and youâre secretly running on fumes.
- Your life looks âsuccessfulâ on paper, but feels thin, performative, or strangely lonely.
- Youâre tired of carrying everyone elseâs emotions while having nowhere to put your own.
- Youâve tried yoga retreats, breathwork, mindfulness apps⌠and came back to the same inbox and the same patterns.
- You crave clear, grown-up conversations about meaning, fear, grief, ambition, and love, without spiritual jargon.
You built this life for good reasons. Weâre not here to mock that. Weâre here to examine the cost.
Itâs probably not for you if:
- You want entertainment, pampering, or a spa holiday. This is gentler than your life, but more honest.
- You want someone to âfix youâ while you stay passive. This is collaborative, not magical.
- You collect retreats, modalities, and spiritual content but avoid real confrontation. We are not for wellness junkies or the Instagram ayahuasca crowd.
- Youâre looking for clinical treatment. Weâre not a clinic and we donât pretend to be.
Why this is different from yoga, Vipassana & âkumbayaâ circles
Most retreats ask you to step into a different universe: new language, new hierarchy, new rituals. You fly in, play a temporary character, feel something intense, then fly back into the exact same life.
We do the opposite. We, the facilitators, step into your universe.
In that sense, this is strategic shadow work for the class itself. Weâre here to dislodge certainty, expose fragility, plant subversive seeds, and gently nudge the fracture lines that are already there.
- We start from your reality: your boardrooms, your WhatsApp threads, your family system, your political constraints, your inbox.
- We ask âWhat is it like to be you, in detail?â and stay there long enough for the truth to stop being polite.
- We try your beliefs on from the inside until your values, fears, and loyalties feel like ours too.
Only then do we start gently messing with the script:
- Where do you say you value something, but your calendar violently disagrees?
- Where are you keeping promises to everyone except yourself?
- Where are you over-responsible (for others) and under-responsible (for your own needs)?
Thatâs what we call ânon-therapy therapyâ: no diagnosis, no couch, no pathologising. Just two or three humans, living your life with you for ten days, and asking the kind of questions most people in your world are too invested or too scared to ask.
The loop weâll interrupt
You donât burn out because youâre weak. You burn out because your mind is running an old survival script that once kept you safe and now quietly runs your calendar.
- Stated goal: âI want to rest, be more present, step back a bit.â
- Actual behaviour: say yes, stay online, take one more call, keep holding everything together.
- Hidden commitments: never disappoint; never be the weak link; never be seen as selfish, lazy, replaceable, out of the loop.
- Big assumptions: âIf I rest, things will fall apart.â âIf I slow down, Iâll be exposed.â âIf I stop performing, Iâll lose love, status, or control.â
In Immunity to Change language, you have an improvement goal, behaviours that work against it, competing commitments, and big assumptions that keep everything frozen in place.
Over ten days we map that immunity explicitly, test the assumptions in real time, and design experiments and systems that make it harder for the old script to silently retake control once you go back.
What you leave with
We donât promise a ânew you.â Youâre not a software release. What we aim for is something more boring and more powerful:
- A brutally honest map of how your life actually works: time, energy, relationships, addictions, responsibilities.
- Clarity on 2â3 non-negotiable changes youâre willing to make in the next 6â12 months.
- A handful of concrete systems and boundaries: in your calendar, in your phone, in your relationships.
- Language for your fears and loyalties so you stop being run by them from the shadows.
- A written âownerâs manualâ for yourself, created together over the 10 days.
We translate this into a small set of âwhen X, then I Yâ commitments that live in your actual life:
- âWhen my body hits 7/10 on exhaustion, then I postpone something external instead of cancelling something internal.â
- âWhen Iâm tempted to say yes out of guilt, then I buy 24 hours before answering.â
- âWhen I catch myself scrolling to numb, then I use one of the exits we designed together.â
This is not a pep talk. It is a precise, occasionally brutal, always careful account of who you are, what grips you, and where your system is already cracking. You leave with language and structure, not hype.
One question we will not avoid is: âIf nothing changes in the next 12 months, what breaks first: your body, your relationships, or your integrity?â Part of our work is to answer that honestly, then design your life so you donât have to find out the hard way.
Ten days, zero decision fatigue
Burnout doesnât come only from workload. It comes from a thousand tiny decisions and self-negotiations every day. Here, that stops. From the moment you arrive, the structure holds you.
What a day roughly looks like
- Morning ¡ Wake-up, simple body check-in, handwritten journaling. No phone, no news, no notifications.
- Silent walk ¡ Slow walk in the forest or hills. No talking, just letting your brain re-learn boredom and curiosity.
- Shared breakfast ¡ Cooking or preparing food together. Ordinary, grounded, sometimes awkward, always real.
- Deep conversation block ¡ 90â120 minutes of guided questions, mapping your life, your conflicts, your unseen loyalties.
- Solo time ¡ Reading, writing, staring at a tree, napping. Structured, but not filled.
- Afternoon practice ¡ Light meditation, breath, or reflective exercises. No incense, no grand claims, just nervous-system hygiene.
- Evening ¡ Cooking together, debrief, questions for the next day. Gentle, unhurried, human.
The exact structure shifts over the 10 days, but one thing doesnât: at every point, you know what youâre doing and why. Youâre not asked to âfigure it out as you go.â
Your smartphone stays off, sealed and physically away. Because physical distance = emotional distance. You carry a basic phone for emergency contact and essential logistics. No secret scrolling in the bathroom. No âjust checking something.â The environment is designed so you donât have to use willpower.
The facilitator: diagnostic soul confrontation, not âwellnessâ
At the core of this program is Ilinca. She is not your therapist, not your coach, not your consultant. What she offers is a psychologically intense, deeply intuitive, no-bullshit soul excavation for people who are used to being the sharpest person in the room.
- She sees through defences in minutes and has zero incentive to please you.
- She refuses the over-diagnosing, pathologising pop-psychology circus. No DSM-5 labels, no âattachment styleâ cosplay.
- She listens until your patterns of loyalty, fear, self-betrayal and ambition show up, then mirrors them back with surgical precision.
- She is a translator between worlds: she understands both the inner rot of systems and the inner hunger of those still complicit in it.
We frame this as diagnostic soul confrontation. Not therapy. Not coaching. A precise, sometimes uncomfortable, always unhedged profile of your psyche that only she can mirror back.
âNo retreat, ceremony, or drug has ever touched what this woman surfaced in me. I will never see myself the same way again.â â anonymous participant
To put it bluntly: you pay for the one person in the world who will see through your curated life in twenty minutes and actually say the thing no one else dares to say.
Why the Romanian mountains?
Because theyâre stunning, quiet, slightly underestimated, and logistically simple from Western Europe. Direct flights into Bucharest from most major European cities, then a drive or train up into the hills.
- Setting ¡ A small mountain village / valley. Forests, hills, slow clouds, actual darkness at night.
- Accommodation ¡ Simple, warm, comfortable. Think âminimalist cabin with a good bed,â not five-star hotel.
- Food ¡ Mostly home-cooked, mostly local, with a focus on simple, digestible, non-performative food.
- Language ¡ The program is in English. Your facilitators are Romanian and used to working cross-culturally.
- Safety ¡ Romania is in the EU, with boringly normal infrastructure. The risk is mostly that youâll want to come back.
Exact location details are shared once weâve spoken and agreed weâre a good fit for each other.
Scarcity, selection & fit
This is not a mass-market wellness product. It is a personal reckoning. A mirror almost no one else will hold up to you. We treat it as a single, high-conviction trade in your own self-knowledge, not a subscription or an annuity stream.
- Only 15 people per year. Thatâs the hard cap. Most who inquire will not come. Some shouldnât.
- Picky by design. We work only with people who can think in systems, see through façades, and tolerate moral ambiguity without flinching.
- Three-step selection. Honest email, then a one-on-one video call, then an in-person meeting in your city before any final yes.
- No repeat by default. There are no âpackagesâ and no upsell. The default is: one intensive, then you live with what youâve seen.
Commitment is not a gimmick; it is skin in the game and narrative fuel. The right people are willing to stake time, comfort, and ego for the one thing that actually cuts through their own performance: a clear, unsanitised account of who they are, what holds them back, and where their fracture lines run.
Format & logistics
- Length ¡ 10 full days, arrival the evening before Day 1, departure the morning after Day 10.
- Group size ¡ 1 person (solo) or up to 3 people from the same context (co-founders, leadership trio, couple + trusted friend).
- Season ¡ Only up to 15 people per year. No back-to-back conveyor belt.
- Attention ¡ Boutique, not mass-market. Real human attention from people who could earn well doing other things.
We finalise dates, contracts, and practicalities once weâve had a proper conversation and both agree this is the right intervention at the right time.
How to explore if this is for you
No âApply Nowâ funnel. No ticking boxes to impress an algorithm.
If something in you relaxed while reading this, and another part rolled its eyes but kept scrolling, thatâs usually a good sign.
Step 1 ¡ Send an honest email
Write to ioan.ionita@abouttime.rest with:
- Two or three paragraphs about where you are in life right now.
- What scares you most about taking ten days fully offline.
- What you secretly hope might be different twelve months from now.
Step 2 ¡ Short call
We schedule a 60-minute video call. Cameras on, bullshit off. We ask questions, you ask questions. If it still looks like a fit on both sides, we plan an in-person meeting in your city before making any final decision. If itâs a no on either side at any point, we say it plainly.
Step 3 ¡ If itâs a yes
We fix dates, send you a detailed program outline, logistics, packing list, and a clear contract. You get one last week of ânormal life + smartphoneâ before you come up into the mountains and switch it all off for a while.
No branding exercises. No higher purpose speeches. Just humans, time, and a structure strong enough to let you stop performing for a bit and listen to the parts of you that have been whispering for years.